Cohen News

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For the past week, Ruby has been constantly asking, “When are we going to Appaman?” Not so easy to explain that Appaman is a clothes company, not a location per se. But to Ruby, it represents her burgeoning modeling career. We didn’t realize how much the gig meant to her since she seemed non-plussed at that last shoot. But she’s been primed for more.<p>

The shoot was this morning. Last night, Ruby ran a slight fever, causing Ali and I to panic that she would miss it which we knew would crush her. But she felt better upon waking up and we gamely headed to the lower east side. There had been a change in Ruby, though, which must be common to all rising models. First, she demanded special food; the chocolate croissants and mini-muffins weren’t exactly to her liking. Then, she would only put on flip flops and not the other pink shoes that she was asked to wear. And the capper: she started to throw fits about the outfits. She didn’t want to wear demin shorts they had laid out for her and no amount of persuasion or promises of chocolate milk could persuade her. The company had to alter her outfit on the fly (see the purple toss skirt above.) Who knew the transformation from fresh young face to model diva would happen so soon? The Appaman Spring ‘09 catalog should be out in a few months and we’ll post more Ruby shots then, if her pictures made the cut! (The company would be forgiven for not using her to bring her ego down a notch!)

So Lila told us the other day she doesn’t want to go to college. Fair enough (and we could potentially save one tuition.) She wants to be a Broadway actress so she’s skipping school. Ruby piped up, “But I’m going to college!” Great. What are you going to study? Ruby says, “I’m going to study tightrope.”

We got a nice surprise when Randi and Bill came up from the DC area to say hello and, unbeknown to us, celebrate a special birthday. (Lucky for Bill, our kids have birthday party protocol down cold.) We had fun showing them the hood and they were the first family members to see our prospective new abode (which isn’t all set yet but whose pursuit has been the reason for so little activity on this site as of late.) This time, candle-blowing; next time, canoing on the Gowanus canal!

Ali and I are tough on media - maybe other parents are as well but we really want to regulate what the kids watch and hear. Its not easy at all - some of our oversights are self-inflicted. One day last year while the girls were rocking out, I put on Fabolous’ “Can’t Let You Go” on my impromptu mix and Lila came up to me and said, “Dad, is f**** a bad word?” Naturally, Fabolous is off the playlist.

Its even harder when they’re away from home. Lila was recently invited to see Legally Blonde on Broadway, something that made Ali and I nervous because of the star’s depiction as an airhead. And while the songs are full of Broadway gusto and she loves to sing and dance along, they also contain words on our inappropriate list (t&a) as well as on our “do not discuss” list (stripper bars.) But are we being oversensitive? There’s a line where the main character Elle, who follows a boyfriend to Harvard law even though she’s a fashion major, sends in her application but doesn’t include an essay; instead, she submits a headshot. Turns out, Lila thought Elle submitted a “hedgehog.” Maybe the lyrics really don’t matter at this age.

Again, I refused to celebrate my birthday on principle that age is a state of mind (as well as heavy denial about the aging process, who’s kidding who.) But the day before, I noticed that Jonathan Richman was playing in Williamsburg and a quick concert by the crooner who sings such happy songs was just the perfect balm. Mark and Betsy introduced some Korean (because they strangely met the restaurant owner recently in Hong Kong) and then off to the show. Jonathan was in his typical form, playing the faves (”springtime in New York”, “I was dancing…” “pablo picasso”) and a bunch of funny songs in various languages. Also, he debuted some songs from an upcoming album, such as an anti-cell phone ditty that’s gonna be sung in our house. (”you can have a cell phone, that’s ok. but not me.”) It didn’t stop the inevitable but it helped it go down smoother.

In yet another one of our many moves that would inspire admiration from Don Quixote, we decided to forge a trip to Chicago during the kid’s school break in February. We were undaunted by the frigid weather. We were unscared about the plane-grounding snow. And there is supposed to be a third thing I should add (basic journalism 101, rule of three) but perhaps the first two cautions should have been sufficient warning.

Our flight outbound was delayed a few hours but all seemed right when we landed. We met the Greenberg-Waldens at Adrian, Leslie and Ezra’s house and were served waffles and good old memories while the kids played in the family’s circus playroom (a trapeze too!) The next day, we set out to the old neighborhood of East Ukranian Village/Westtown/Wicker Park/whatever, visitng our old house (see picture above), witnessing the nutty gentrification (the laundrymat downstairs from our pad now a starbucks), and enjoying the few old spots of local culture (Smokedaddys and Quimbys.) In the evening, we had a fun reunion with the Vodickas.

The next day, the journalism iron law of the “rule of three” revealed itself: flu season! Yet another dumb reason to travel! I spent the next 60 hours in my pajamas, barely able to stand, much less entertain the kids or go on all the cool outings that Jason and I had planned. We couldn’t even call any of our other Chicago pals. By Thursday, Lila and Maci were feeling wounded too. We all got our sorry butts to the airport (of course, flying into Long Island due to the cheap tix, which seemed so shortsighted at that moment) and made it home. I stayed in bed over the weekend, Lila came down with Scarlet Fever and Ruby got an ear infection. We left our beloved hosts full of disease as well, Maci with strep and Meka, Vicki and Jason all with the chilly cold/fever. The obvious lesson is to save the Midwestern trips until summertime (and hope that other people don’t learn a lesson that Jason and Vicki neglected: beware of inviting the Cohens for a visit!)

Moon-faced Ruby is in that phase where everything she does is pretty cute, even crying (which is why she probably doesn’t get the discipline that she needs!) The other night, apropos of nothing, she told Ali that “Daddy’s a good guy.” And today, she said, “Lila is really good to me. She really likes me. I want to bring her into my class for show and tell.” I’ll try to extend this post over the coming weeks and see how many sappy things I can add.

Self-confessional time, even though I fear Lila will likely read this blog before she’s 18 and have a new cause to be angry at her parents (this post’s title refers to Lila’s latest Dad-teasing phrase.) But I feel so bad about these recent parenting flubs that I’m hoping that recording them (and having to come across them on this blog occasionally) will serve as preventative parenting, even if I admit my screw-ups to my kids.

First Ruby. The lesson (to start with the moral) is to listen to your children. We’re at her friend Theo’s disco party (not to dissimilar from Wrestlemania) without Lila (at a sleepover) and Ali (who left the fest early for a friend’s house.) The kids are filtering out, Ruby says to me, “Theo’s going to give me a present.” I patiently explained to her that this was Theo’s birthday and we gave him a present; he’s not giving one to us. Ruby looks confused and repeats her claim a few times and I repeat my retort. We leave without incident (thank goodness). Later that evening Ali asks me “Did Ruby get that goody bag Theo was going to give her?” Damn goody bag. I forgot it. Ruby was correct.

Now Lila. The lesson here is to not try to get involved in your kid’s affairs, no matter how much you ache to do it. Lila woke up from big nightmare based on a story her friend told her about a shark (her big fear) almost eating her brother’s hand. She goes on with this tale of how the friend’s brother put his hand in a shark tank and I immediately reassured her, saying that there is no zoo in the country that would allow this, liability reasons (I often tell her about insurance) and that her friend is telling tall tales. But inside I was ticked - how dare this classmate spook my kid! A night of sleep is a precious thing to waste!

The next day at school I happen to run into the friend’s mom and casually ask her about the story. I’m curious on the outside, hiding my annoyance on the inside. But the mom senses it. She explains how her son did in fact take a course at the NY Aquarium and that they got to touch a nurse shark, which is basically harmless, etc. So the friend was right and in an in effort to calm Lila, I may have overreacted. But it got messy. Later that day, the mom left me an answering machine message. She said she talked to her daughter and chewed her out for scaring Lila, saying that she shouldn’t be telling shark tales and that the daughter feels so bad that Lila freaked out. Just what I wanted - a kid in her class who knows her secret fears (Lila’s vulnerability), knows she told her dad (Lila could be perceived as a tattletale) and got a lecture from her own parent (Lila could be perceived as a crybaby.) As much as I still hate fish tales, I must remember to keep my large bass mouth closed.

Ruby got her first fashion modeling assignment and made the cover of the new Appaman catalog! (The hot kiddie clothes designer for those not in the know.) OK, it was an easy gig to land (her classmate’s parents asked her) but still, a catalog is a catalog. Now Ruby won’t get out of bed for less than 10 Dunkin Munchkins a gig.

Click below to see more pictures from the catalog (and the photo shoot)!

Continue reading Let the Exploitation Begin!…